Oh good, you’re here.
We need to talk.
Yep, I’m looking at you, fellow Human Offering Their Service To Other Humans.
Ever feel like your business isn’t doing as well as it should? (I'm talking revenue, client quantity+quality, your willingness to get out of bed on workdays, plus any other metric of success that works for you)
If you've answered 'umm, yeah', I've got some news:
There’s something missing from your business.
And only you can fix it (with a little help).
Don’t worry: I’m not here to sell you some get-rich-quick scheme or yet another advanced funnel technique that will quadruple your warm leads or whatever.
Truth is, I couldn’t possibly sell you that missing thing, because
1. I don't have it — you do; and
2. it isn't a thing.
By this point I feel like I'm some creepy disembodied voice, so lemme fix that.
I hate to name-drop, but it works. These are some of the 60+ brands I've done work for:
Hi, I’m Olga.
I get off on helping people who get off on what they do.
That’s why I started We Need To Talk About You.
When I'm not working 1-on-1 with entrepreneurs, I'm hired by brands to do things like...
- help the United Nations teach people about stopping COVID-related misinformation;
- launch the latest LEGO collection;
- help YouTube come up with their new campaign and slogan;
- rap in front of the Bill & Melinda Gates foundation (okay, that only happened once, but hey, I bet you'd mention that in your bio, too).
You can read more about my Mad Skillz and strange anatomy here if you feel like it. But for now, let's focus on you, because I've paid for this domain name and it would be kinda silly to just talk about myself here, y'know?
Now, here’s what I know about you:
You’re bloody good at what you do. You know it, your family and friends know it, your past clients know it, even your enemies are acutely aware. But everyone else has no fucking clue.
You charge peanuts compared to the celebrities/thought leaders/so-called influencers in your industry, even though most of them aren’t any better than you at the skill itself.
You’re aware that branding and marketing are supposed to Make Them All Come To You. But you’ve no idea where to even start, because there’s too much information, too much BS, and too many gurus around, and FFS, how on earth are you supposed to know this shit? You never signed up for this — all you wanted to do was That Thing You Love Doing.
You despise Ed Sheeran’s music, but have to keep it quiet in case one of your loved ones turns out to be a fan. [no? Sorry. Guess that's just me.]
And you dream of the day when you can hire a great web designer to build you a killer website — which will solve LITERALLY EVERYTHING.
Stahp right there.
I can tell you right now that your problem isn’t web design.
Your website is likely doing a bad job, yes.
But it's not a web designer who will fix it and bring you better clients.
Instead, you should hire... yourself.
Keep reading. It will all make sense.
From my experience with over 60 global brands, as well as dozens of startups and entrepreneurs, you're most likely suffering from one or more of these three conditions:
(I will even alliterate, that’s how much I care.)
Hey, please don't be insulted.
Not a single one of those is your fault.
And most importantly, you're gonna fix all three.
Before we begin: there's a special place in hell for people who promise a solution and then waste an hour of your life building up the intrigue before asking you for money, without any reveal. So I’m just straight up telling you that there are two possible outcomes to your perusal of this page.
You learn a helluvalot in about 20 minutes. That’s less than a third of a typical reality TV episode where people use their butts to crack open watermelons, so you really are investing your time pretty well by being here instead. You leave feeling educated and ‘xcited, ready to change how you present yourself and your business online. For some additional butt-kicking, you can sign up to my newsletter.
You learn a helluvalot and leave this site with me. Or rather, you book a session with me, so that we can turn your business from a bittersweet story of a passionate entrepreneur who never quite got what they wanted, because life is cruel and the odds were stacked against them, into a bingeworthy feelgood series with a cameo of Bill Murray and a catchy theme tune.
About those bigass problems.
Disclaimer over, and you're still here: great.
(it's almost as if honesty is a good policy or something)
Now, back to our three Bigass Problems aka things stopping you from hitting your world domination targets.
Let’s take a proper look at those bastards.
aka 10,000 lemmings can't be wrong.
Look, there aren't any occupations where you’re the only person in the world doing it. If you're a psychologist, a landscape architect, a coach, a therapist, a designer of any kind, a writer, a personal trainer, an artist, a financial advisor, a lawyer — in other words, a solo entrepreneur offering professional services — there's literally millions of others like you. Hell, even if you are a water sommelier, you still have competition. Most entrepreneurs take this as a given. Big mistake. We'll get back to this.
aka I’ve paid thousands for this,
so why isn’t anyone buying?
‘WTF Olga, you literally just said my problem wasn’t web design!’
Yep, I did. And it’s true. Because a sad website is not a design problem.
So what is a sad website?
You'll recognise it by these telltale signs:
It looks as if all the other websites in that industry had a baby together.
It doesn’t ask nor inspire you to do anything in particular.
You have no idea what the human(s) behind the business are like.
Instead of speaking to you, it appears to be talking to itself.
It’s obvious that not a single person had fun designing, building or writing it.
10 minutes after you close the tab, the contents are erased from your memory forever, like the password to your MySpace account.
Every day, come rain or shine, the sad website is sitting there like an elderly cocker spaniel outside a café, hoping that someone will come and pet it. But no one does, because it’s just too sad-eyed and depressing. Plus it farts.
This has nothing to do with the price of the website, by the way. There's a shit-tonne of very expensive, hi-tech, sleek sites that are sad.
aka The web designer asked for some text, so I did what I could.
You probably know what copy is: it’s the word for ‘text' used in publishing and marketing. Warning: I'm going to be particularly brutal here, because copy and I go waaay back — or, as a friend of mine and a brilliant coach called Khori once wrote in an official document, ‘words are Olga’s bitchez.’
Shit copy comes in many colours and consistencies: from pink glittery shit (‘Add some sparkle to your already magical Insta stories!’) to beige-coloured, odourless, inoffensive shit (‘We help our clients reach success in their careers’) to pretentious bullshit (‘We use our cross-media expertise to help you bravely navigate the digital maelstrom’) to explosive diar… well, you get the gist.
But do you know the saddest and most bizarre thing? Behind all that shit copy you will probably find lovely, talented, interesting people. It’s just that they worked with a terrible copywriter, or none at all. As in, they wrote their copy themselves*.
*Most business owners are absolutely capable of writing great copy for themselves — but that’s usually an acquired skill.
And the answer is...
There's a simple solution to all 3 problems and many other struggles that most entrepreneurs are painfully familiar with.
In all honesty, I bet you know what it is. You’ve heard it before, but you thought it's dumb, cheesy, or both — so you've never really tried it.
That solution is:
Because, if you are a solo entrepreneur or freelancer, your best asset and your main point of difference is YOU.
Look, there’s close to 8 billion of us. That’s a lot of everyone. But there is still, and always will be, only one of you. This is important, because in our line of work, we spend a fair amount of time working directly with our clients: human-to-human.
It's so simple, I feel dumb saying it — but it's probably the single most important factor in our work, so here goes:
People don't just hire you for your skills or the end result. They hire you for YOU.
The end result matters, sure. But until robots take all of our jobs, it still involves people working with people.
So that’s it. That is the simple, brilliant, unbeatable answer.
Understand who and what you are, and be it all the time.
Not just on weekends, with friends and select trusted clients.
Always, with everyone, offline and online, and on your website too.
Especially on your website, because it’s basically your 24/7 billboard.
It works. It feels amazing. And it pays.
Plus, not being yourself is exhausting.
Is this some hippie crap?
Nope. It’s about making more of the ⅓ of your life that you spend working.
Side effects do include happiness, but you can just take the cash if you prefer.
I already know who I am,
thank you v.much.
I’m sure you do. But does your audience aka The People Who Hire You For Who You Are Rather Than Just What You Do?
The point is, whether you already have a solid idea of who and what you are both personally and professionally, or are still “i-curious” (yep, I went there), you need to bring that into what you do, including the places where people can’t speak to you directly: like your website, your emails, the bio that goes under your Very Serious Photo in specialist publications, and wherever else they can find you in a non-physical form.
To do that, you need to be clear on the answers to questions like:
Why do you really do what you do?
Who do you do it for, and why them?
What makes you different and better?
What's the best way to package and present all of that?
What attracts your best clients to you?
What attracts the worst ones?
What are your downfalls and what’s holding you back?
What makes some projects more fun and fulfilling than others?
How can you organise your work to have more of those?
Would you rather be Honey Boo Boo or Nicolas Cage? (tricky, I know.)
From there, you can finally build a work life that makes you a bit less Monday-averse, brings you clients who will keep coming back for more like that urban fox you once gave chicken bones to, and lets you be yourself 24/7, on- and offline, with everyone.
Okay, but how?
1) You need to package your service in a way that makes it a joy to give and receive. This means creating a neat bundle that answers a problem, and then building a structure that lets you repeat it over and over, with consistent quality and minimum time-waste and headache for you and your clients.
2) You need to position yourself in a way that shows exactly how you’re different from everyone else offering that type of service.
3) Finally, you need to start presenting yourself in a way that makes your ideal clients go ‘Damn, this is EXACTLY who I need.’ If you’ve done it right, there will be zero pretence involved: this is purely about communicating exactly who and what you are, who you’re here for, and why they need you.
That's it. Fewer steps than sending a drunken text to your ex, and that one's a piece of cake.
Now all that’s left to do is enjoy the hell out of the new work life you’ve built for yourself: doing what you love for people you like, in a way that works for you personally, financially, logistically and morally, whatever order you want to put these in.
Is this where you say that you can help?
Hey, nobody likes a smartass. But yes, this is the part where I say that it is absolutely possible to do this all by yourself, but you can save yourself a shedload of time, frustration, and mistakes (trust me, I've learned this the hard way).
Another danger of going it alone is that life (and Netflix) can get in the way until you forget all you’ve just read and never do anything about the way you package, position and present yourself — missing out on landing clients who would leave you reviews using words like 'genius' and 'love' and multiple exclamation marks.
Put it this way: if you wanted to ‘get into the best shape of your life’ or whatever personal trainers promise these days, you could go about it in a few different ways —
Read about nutrition and exercise and do your best at applying what you've learnt;
Consult with a personal trainer who will work out a programme for you;
Hire a trainer who will ignore your BS excuses and who knows where you live, in case you decide to slack off.
Here you have all three options.
1) Pfft. I can do it myself.
Go for it! If Rebecca Black has redeemed her reputation as a singer, that means you can do ANYTHING. If you’d like some tips and hacks, as well as the occasional friendly kick in the butt, you should subscribe to my newsletter. It’s highly readable and often comes with gifs, but even if you don’t open them, my emails will sit in your mailbox as silent reminders of the promise you’ve made to yourself: to build a kickass business, not a DIY prison that eventually makes you hate the very thing you thought you wanted to do.
2) I need a solid plan.
Have I got something for you. It involves working one-on-one with me, and it's the perfect kickstart for your new way of seeing yourself and what’s possible — plus what that means to the way you present yourself and do your work. One person has described it as ‘a massive ego boost meets supportive kick in the butt’. I like to think of it like that moment in Fight Club when Edward Norton’s character realises that he is [SPOILER ALERT!] in fact Tyler Durden aka absolute badass.
To avoid saying 'a one-on-one brand strategy/business coaching/mentoring session with Olga followed by a concise strategic plan for how to reposition yourself and your business' every time, I've named it The Rethink.
The Rethink includes, among other exciting things, a 2-hour session with me.
'I still can't believe all that was your "speed strategizing". I'm convinced that being able to think and write like you do is a literal superpower. Your suggestions are solid gold. I feel like you really lit a fire under me and made me believe I can do it myself. Thanks *so* much again. I'm excited!'
— Aaron Jacob Jones
artist and illustrator
3) I want the plan AND the execution.
Sounds like you want The Works. Wise choice. Together we will do to your business and your website what adding a religious holiday did to that grim bit at the end of December.
You’ll be getting 1-on-1 intensive care with a mix of strategy, mentoring and copywriting.
And with what we're going to build, from your business rethink and repackaging to your presentation, this investment will start paying for itself in no time.
'I don’t know if your other clients cry tears of joy reading what you wrote for them, but I did. I think it’s safe to say you’re in love with what you do, and you know your shit.'
— Maria Stewart
art teacher, founder of MariaStew.art
Ooh look, a freebie.
I've written a brutally simple guide to the seven things your dream clients desperately want to see on your website — but probably don't.
You can download it, if you like.